I cant stand to fly
Im not that naive
Im just out to find
The better part of me
Its not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
It may sound absurd...but dont be naive

dis song suit my current mood. i cant stand to fly wishin could cry but don noe wad am i cryin. being drift wif some thoughts been chattin wif miao qi jus nw durin some spare time chattin abt him. Everyone tel me he change alot even he himself oso told me dat he change ya i noe u change alot begin treat me good begin change e attitude toward me like u don sae sorry even though u think u rite or not wrong but now u keep sayin le. wad u hav done i realize i noe i admit u change alot to gain me back till now i haven accept is my wrong but i from ysd been starin at e status thing my brain was blank and begin to think ya i admit i happy is u can giv wad i wan but if till feelin i still treat u as fren does not mean dat u treat me so good i nvr realise or why i cant giv u e love but treat good buy thing all dat is materialistic happy not reali happy not mean dat u treat me good by doin all these i sld love u back e lfeelin is different wad i now wan is already different. like wad pp sae onoce u grow older thinkin will begin to get different and more things dat need to be consider. ysd i chat wif nic i ask his opinion weather wad sld i do am i rite or wrong he sae wrong miao qi oso sae wrong, sae sld end if don like but if end le i reali cant imagine wad will u do so till now i jus leave e stautus thing dere dat don accept or deny maybe like u sae time ba. i need time i jus wan concentrate wad i doin now. concentrate on my studies aim good points. maybe i like dat sae veri selfish but my thinkin is different le wad i wan now is different le i not like last time anymore. maybe meet pp more better den u enrich myself alot i learn alot from them i please wif wad i doin now havin fren study together and complete my thing everyday busy i realise dat time passes fast and everything gettin smooth without worryin anything or carryin any burden. i jus wan us to be like normal friend go out hav lunch watch movie but not dat type relationship but i noe u wont understand! is ok i noe wad i wan noe can le!

after a long day without post now got time to post sorry too long but after dis post will be after 2 week later den post le cos common test is comin need study scared ELS! mus jia you i sure i will hav e strength to carry on!

sign off
jaqjaq